Be pirate, do gay

[Bridge of the Diana, Tanith and Laura are on their usual positions, their chairs in front of their consoles. The chairs are like office chairs with a few spiky legs. From behind, the chairs have the shape of a triangle with rounded corners and the top cut off. They have armrests. Each gray console is curved toward the user. They have one straight cylinder leg on each end with wider green feet. There are colorful buttons and an elongated hexagon shaped display each console. The monitor on the wall covers almost the entire wall. It is showing a red-orange starry video, the feed from the ship's cameras. Tanith is wearing a red suit. Her hair color is a very dark brown. Most of her body is covered by her chair.]
Dea ex Machina: I am detecting a local distortion of space time. Origin: Likely an FTL drive. Distance: 503.5 parsec. If it is a ship, interception should be possible in 30.5 minutes. Size estimates indicate we are likely to survive this encounter.
[The camera is pointing at Tanith from her top-right-front. There is a sheathed sword strapped across her back. She has brown eyes and light skin.]
Tanith: Niiiice. Number One, ready the guns. D., make sure our FTL's prepared for interceptions.
[The camera is looking at Laura's console display from the top. Laura is holding a controller in her hands for aiming the guns.] DeM: Affirmative.
Laura: Aye aye, captain.
[The camera is pointing at the wall monitor.]
DeM: I am afraid I must interrupt, but there seems to be an intruder on board, currently located near the cargo bay.
[Tanith in front of the monitor is pointing at it.] T.: On screen!
[An unclear infrared video transmission of a hallway appears on the large bridge screen, with a figure sneaking around. It seems to have a lot of limbs.]